3 Tips to Grow with Your Partner to the Next Level

In this episode of The Holistic Millionaire Podcast, Shelley dives into three transformative tips for growing with your partner while navigating your own journey of growth. Drawing from over two decades of experience, she highlights the ripple effects of personal alignment on relationships and families. Through heartfelt stories and relatable insights, she encourages listeners to trust the unfolding process. Shelley also addresses the common fear of outgrowing relationships and how to navigate this concern. This episode is an inspiring guide for anyone seeking deeper connection and harmony in their personal and professional lives. 

Key Points From This Episode:

• How to spark change in partner
• Why it’s important to honor your partner’s unique growth path
• The key to surprising outcomes within your family
• How to navigate fears of outgrowing your partner

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Shelley Riutta on Instagram 

Rise of the Holistic Millionaire Facebook Group

Holistic Millionaire Podcast

Transcript

Transcripts are auto-generated.

Shelley (00:00.694)

Welcome back to the Holistic Millionaire Podcast. We're to be talking today about three tips to really grow with your partner to the next level. For so many years, I have worked with clients who were navigating their own growth and transformation related to their partners, right?

And so I want to give, just dive into some tips because it's been really exciting for me for the over 20 years of doing transformational work with clients to just see whole, you know, entire partnerships transform, entire families transform from one person taking the lead with the transformation. And that is you. So, so let's dive in. So the first tip and really, growing with your partner to the next level is to really keep your eyes on your own journey of transformation. So keeping your focus on your own transformation and keeping your eyes off of their path of transformation. 

A lot of times when clients would come see me in my first business, they would be so excited about everything they were learning, all the growth and transformation that was happening. And all of a sudden, you know, very quickly people would start to say, well, I need to share this with my friend, with my family member, with my partner. And always my advice was stay quiet, very quiet. Do not say a word. Keep focused on yourself.

Transform your life. Get to a high level of alignment with your authentic self, your joy, be connected to your life purpose, be ecstatically happy and joyful, and they will start asking you what you are doing. Until then, do not say a word. And I would always say be the best example, you know, because...

Shelley (02:11.224)

Everyone wants to feel happy and joyful, aligned. They want to be living their best life. Everyone. So when you're doing that, and initially people can have different reactions. They might mistrust what you're doing. They might be confused. They might be overwhelmed. They might initially not be supportive because they're trying to protect you.

And that's okay, you know, that they're, that's a very natural thing when you're changing so dramatically, the shifts are happening in the relationship. But oftentimes, you know, so when we're talking, and this is tip number two is taking the role of being the leader of transformation in your family. Like you are leading the charge because oftentimes you want to go faster. 

You want to go higher, faster. farther than anyone in your family and that is okay. And it's going to be your family is going to go at a different pace and that might be ongoing or you might have a family member go at a certain pace for a while and then all of sudden they speed up and they might zoom past you. I have seen that happen before too. So honoring the pace that the people around you are going at staying out of judgment. 

The other thing that's important to remind yourself is people grow in different ways. you know, sometimes people aren't getting coaching, not going to see a therapist, not going on a transformational retreat or going to a workshop or reading a book. None of it. They might not be doing any of it and they are transforming. 

So do not pre judge what transformation needs to look like, right? So that is a big thing. You might have a partner who transforms by taking long drives in the car or playing a sport or doing a multitude of other things that they're drawn to that can really be transformational. really honor that.

Shelley (04:31.8)

transformational processes look different for different people and do not put your version of it, you know, onto your partner. The ironic thing, the less you're having that expectation and desiring that they do that, oftentimes the more open they become. Because here's the thing is one of

the most important things at a soul level that we're all desiring is a sense of freedom, you know, to explore, move in different directions of our soul path. And if we have judgments or expectations of our partner to be doing a certain thing, living their life a certain way, they feel it energetically. They don't feel accepted. They, you know, are feeling judged and they can unconsciously just start to resist you.

So the more you can just honor the soul journey of the people around you, the more open they will be to doing some of the things on the journey that you're going on. Particularly if you amazing things start to happen. This is what we see with our clients over and over again. I was just talking to one of our team members today and she was giving feedback with someone that has worked with us for a year and you know that

family and friends are commenting, you know, on how much she has transformed and the shifts that have happened. And so often that is what your family wants for you, right? Ultimately, they want things to improve. They want you to thrive. So being willing to stay the course to go to the next level.

The third thing is to really release the fear that you're going to separate from your family members or your partner. Probably the biggest block I've seen over the years with our superstar clients is their unconscious fear that they will outgrow their partner, right? And so they will stop self-sabotage, even totally backtrack.

Shelley (06:53.3)

unconsciously to not face that fear. And what I work with our clients on is to make that fear conscious, talk about it, know, uncover it and work directly with the fear. Because the interesting thing about the fear is so often it's unfounded. Very rare over these last 20 plus years.

Have I had clients separate from their partner? Absolutely some have done that. But more often than not, they stay the course and their partner ends up coming on board again at a different timing, a different pace, and a different way. But oftentimes, I see that happening again and again.

Shelley (07:53.058)

So letting go of that attachment, keeping your eyes on your own transformational journey. You have enough that you're navigating, right? You have enough that you're shifting and transforming, and you have enough that you're focusing on by creating a world-changing business. There is a lot of work to be done, right? There's a lot of transformation that people are...

really desiring and needing on the planet right now. And you have special, unique spiritual gifts that are needed and necessary. So you're getting the tap on the shoulder. Your spiritual team is like, it's, it's, you know, game time, time to get fully into the game with what you came here to share. And that is taking all of your energy and focus. You don't have time to worry what they're doing or not doing or

Focusing on their what you know, what is that in the 12 step program like taking someone else's inventory? I think that's such a powerful phrase, right? So keeping your eyes on your own journey your own and really your job with the people around you is to just love them unconditionally like love them for who they are For their unique path, even though it might be dramatically different Than yours and they might be doing things in a different way, you know just

honor their journey. In our call in the holistic business school tonight, we were laughing because one of the other phrases that I'll use with our clients is, you know, sometimes people will be like, you know, they're, they're spiritual and you know, woo, and they're expanding, you know, in all these different directions. And, and I will always say to them, your partner is interested in this.

They are on board. are supportive of that. And they might, they'll might come back and say, no, they're not. They don't understand or they're criticizing me. And I said, no, they are drawn to that. Otherwise they would not have hooked up with you. I remember saying this to a client of mine many years ago. I'm like, they are loving this. They love that energy. They might not be able to name it or put

Shelley (10:12.106)

you know what that is. And so often as time goes on, they find out that they're really, they really are on board with it, even though on the surface they might not seem interested. you know, might even, you know, have some judgment towards it, but oftentimes they have that, that those same, there's something in them that is drawn to that as well.

Will they ever get into it as much as you are? Maybe, maybe not. It's surprising. I was telling a story, one of our clients years ago, her husband had asked, you know, what do you, it was her 25 year anniversary. And he's like, what do you want to do? And she's like, I want to go to this five day transformational workshop. And so they booked it.

And this was a very traditional guy, not into the stuff that she was into at all. No like zilch interest. So it was a really big deal for him to go along for the five days. The most hilarious thing about it is they got there and I don't know how far into it.

All of a sudden he's seeing people's auras and energy field. He's writing poetry. Like he's just totally dialed in. And she was like, what is going on? I had no idea. And then she was even like jealous because she's like, I'm the one who's reading about this, focused on this, totally passionate about it.

I can't even do the things that he's doing right now. Like, what's up with that? Right? We were just like laughing so much. Isn't that hilarious? So you will never know what will happen over time. You know, with a partner, with friends, with family members, you know, I always, I'm getting ready for one of my class reunions and one of my favorite things to do at a class reunion. I'm like,

Shelley (12:23.478)

I wonder who's like into what I'm into, you know, like, cause sometimes people in high school, you just can never predict. Like when I was at my 10 year class reunion, you know, my whole goal was to just talk to people and just see how things have evolved and you know, are, can we talk about like the same things? And so I'm like super jazz to kind of see.

You know, cause every reunion there's like a different batch of people awakening, right? Cause everyone it's such an exciting time being in the transformational space for, you know, well over 20 years. I'm just like, I've never seen, you know, so many people open and receptive to doing deeper work and transforming that we're seeing right now. And unfortunately it's coming from some intense catalyst and very stressful.

you know, experiences and things going on that are causing pain and suffering. and the consequence is it is really pushing buttons and, creating big shifts and transformation. So, and each and every one of you, you are here for that. You're here to be available.

to support your ideal clients who are actively looking for you, wanting to do the kind of transformational work that you offer. This is why it's so vital for you to be getting out there, particularly now. We're just going through another wave. And, you know, one of my biggest phrases that I've just is like a mantra for me is shifts in consciousness, create shifts in reality.

boy, do we need that, right? We can do so much better. We can create a dramatically different reality and a world that works for all. And I know that we can do this together. So sending you big love and I can't wait to connect with you on the next episode. If you have not joined us in the rise of the holistic millionaire, that's our free Facebook group. Make sure to make your way over there.

Shelley (14:34.74)

If you want to talk to one of our team members about the Holistic Business School, which is our six month transformational signature program, we also have a year long visionary builder program. That's for someone who's farther along in their holistic business. Reach out to us, have a conversation with one of our team members to see if it is a right fit for you. We would love to support you. are.

here for all of it, all the transformation, all of the upleveling, really helping you grow and scale that world-changing holistic business. sending you big love, and we'll see you on the next episode.